Quite Possibly THE Most Annoying Wal-Mart Experience Ever.

So, I broke down and had to go get a few groceries tonight. My choices were A. Go tonight even though I'm exhausted, or B. Go tomorrow with 3 kids and still be exhausted. My goal was go in, get my stuff, get out. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to see anyone. I don't want to be "pleasant". Sorry. I'm sick. I'm grumpy. I'm tired. So, I get up to the checkout and Ms. Chatty gets in line behind me...
"Sounds like you've got a cough."
(I smile.)
"Sounds like my cough."
(smile)
"How long have you had it?"
"Since Sunday."
"Last Sunday or the Sunday before?"
"Last Sunday."
"I see you've got diapers in your purse."
(Why the h--- are you looking in my purse? But, I smile.)
"You must have a little one."
(The smile tactic is not working)
"How old?"
"2."
"Really? That diaper looks really small. Are you sure?"
"yeah." (does she think I don't know how old my daughter is??)
"Is that your only one?"
"No."
"How many do you have?"
"3." (Aren't my 1 word answers a clue? I'm TIRED. And GRUMPY.)
"How old are they?"
"2,6,11."
"Boys or girls?"
(Oh, for heaven's sake....YES! It's my turn! I move forward.)

Introducing Mouthy Mike Cashier...

(An exchange of pleasantries, etc., then..)
"Ya got far to drive tonight?"
"No."
"It's not the kind of night to be spent driving around..."
(What? It's like 50 degrees...whatever, maybe he means something else..I don't want to know.)
"You make a list tonight?"
"What?"
"You make a grocery list tonight?"
"No..."
"You got kids?"
"Yeah..."
"You should really make a grocery list. Especially if you've got kids."
(smile. Maybe it will work on him...)
"How old?"
"2,6,11"
"Boys?"
"Both."
"Which ones are which?"
(For heaven's sake. I'm TIRED. I'm SICK. I consider hacking my cough all over him. But, I answer).
"Who're these pillows for?"
"My boys."
"Why are they gettin' new ones? What about your girl?"
(Because they're suffering from pancake pillowitis, BUT IS THAT YOUR BUSINESS?) "She doesn't need one."
"New toothbrushes?"
"Yes." (Please don't ask me why, who they're for, and what their gender and age is...)

The rest of the conversation is a blur. I think my body shut down in defense-mode. I got my groceries and proceeded to wipe myself down with an antibacterial wipe. I feel much better. Perhaps, just perhaps, I'm overreacting. Perhaps the fever is skewing things. Now that I've written this little novella, I can shut this experience out of my brain and never have to think about it ever again. amen.